I am not even finished my evening shift work and I am struggling to get through. The pain is starting to ramp up.
I muddled my way through the rest of my shift until I could finally head home.
Where I sat in the shower and willed myself myself not to vomit.
Once the wave passed I was able to take my medication and set myself up for bed knowing I have to wake up for work in 7 hours the morning and have run out of sick leave.
I put Cefaly on and applied pain stop to the back of my neck and went to sleep listening to meditation sound track yet despite all my efforts I woke up at 2.30am in severe pain. An overwhelming sense of panic starts setting. I start crying and my partner wakes up and I ask the question I always ask when I feel like I need to call in sick.
What do I do? They won’t understand
My partner says what he always supportively says ” You are sick, let yourself be sick” .
This is what it should come down to but it doesn’t anymore. In those early hours of the morning what crosses my mind is that the fact that I know longer have sick leave left and any leave I take is unpaid and being tallied against me. What else also have to think about is being able to have enough money to pay bills and survive. I think about how my Neurologist wants me to try buy Aimovig privately as it was successful and just know this isn’t financially possible. I think about how my work suggested I drop down my hours in order to take less sick days. I think about how am I going to get a medical certificate. I think about what my co-workers will think of me for calling in sick so much.
These are all my thoughts I have when calling in sick.
Instead of even thinking about how the time off may help me recover from my current migraine attack or about my health at I am stuck in this thought pattern
If I do decide to call in sick I then immediately feel guilty
All this stress then just contributes to the current attack.
I wrote this post to show that even for calling in sick for someone with a Chronic Illness isn’t a simple decision and often life makes other things a priority instead health.
This can be one of the real cost of Migraines
Let me know if you can relate
Love Monica xx