Finding the light in the darkness

Sorry I haven’t written a blog for awhile. It has been a very challenging June and start of July.

I had a Migraine starting the 28th of May which finally let up on the 30th June.

During this time I ended up being admitted under my neurologist to hospital again for a Ketamine infusion. Despite seeing a couple of dots and squiggles on the ceiling the Ketamine didn’t have any real effect on my pain.

I also tried optic nerve blocks which was painful experience with little results.

During this hospital stay I was told I was running out of options to treat my resistant chronic migraines. Until new treatment options are released later in the year and next year there are few other choices. This news hit me hard

My world began spinning away from me

How would I function?

When would the pain stop ?

I had no idea what I would do for work or how I would pay the bills?

I started to crumble and felt like like this illness had gotten the better of me. All I could think about was my migraines and the pain I was in and how long I had been in it. It became all consuming. It was all my partner and I talked about it, thought about, researched about and cried about.

Then slowly about 4 or 5 days after I got out of hospital I started letting light into my life again. I tried to enjoy things. I didn’t sleep the whole day away. I spent time with our dog going for walks and playing. And slowly things began to feel normal again. My migraines were no longer all consuming.

See the light poking through

My migraine didn’t stop until 8 days after I was released from hospital

I was able to catch up with friends and family. I went out for breakfast for the first time in months. Most importantly I had hope again.

I still have Chronic Migraines that are resistant to treatment however I felt like I was starting on a new positive path. I had a referral to a pain clinic and was continuing to check in with my neurologist.

The lesson I learnt out of this really hard time is how important it is to try and find the light even when you feel like you are drowning in the darkness of a Chronic Illness. There is light in the love from your partner who supports, there is light in the kindness of your friends and family. There is light in reading a book or enjoying music again. Or maybe you can just start enjoying a nice cup of tea again. Don’t let migraines stamp out your light.

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